Only you ...

Life is strange. Guess that's what keeps our clock ticking. There is this person in our lives who earns up to become the closest ever to you as you grow up.

Someone to whome you can be the naked truth, be just what you are.
Someone who accepts you for what you are.
Someone upon whome you can lean on.
Someone who truly lends their ears and time when you most want them.
Someone with whome you feel @ home.
Someone who made you a better person.
Someone who cares about you more than self.
Someone who takes a share in your emotions.
Someone who despite the relation turns out to be the bestest of friend's you've ever had.
Someone who makes you happy at their smile and cry when glum.
Someone with whome you share your life with (not as in a partner :p).

Especially when you'v never had such a trusty person for a confidant it seems like life has taken a turn to wonderland. With so much support you feel like you can conquer the world. Like being given a purpose to life.

But then again tides change. Nothing is permanent.

The moment it receedes, feels like everything is over. Life seemingly comes to a grinding halt. Like you have no more strength left in you. Like you can't breathe anymore, think anymore, feel life anymore. With that person no longer around life ain't the same anymore. Guess in time the loss of a person fades away and you get into grips with reality. Though everything rosy has now turned into gray.

If loss of a person is heartbreaking, its even worse when you get to know all of it was a lie. Everything you believed, you cherished, what you believed were the best of memories for life - they are not gone, they are not dead, but they never were but for your perception. Self repugnance hits you and you feel like puking at the very thought of thyself. Remember the scene in The Matrix where Neo pukes when he gets to know the truth? For a long time I felt it was ridiculous, didn't quite comprehend what the feeling was about. Now I know how it feels like.

Life is definitely stranger than fiction. Guess that's given to the fickleness of the human mind. Misconstrued beliefs? Or is it just me?

As John Nash would say - "They're my past, Martin. Everybody is haunted by their past". Maybe I should choose not to acknowledge as much.