The Disappearing act
You yearn to speak with that person but you know you can't. You yearn to hear from that person but you know you won't. Happy moments come by and yet without that person to share it with, it just doesn't mean as much. It feels as if you are locked in a coffin alive scuffling for someone to help you out. Your heart feels cold and a sudden chillness prevades your body even on a warm day. You feel like ice crystals are scattered inside of you and they trigger shocks of cold. And you can't do anything about it.
All that remains is the memory of the sweetest of moments they gave to your life and the satiety you got out of seeing that person happy from within. And a longing as to if god would give a second chance to relive those moments in life. Only, going forward you are no longer entitled to that previlige. And if that person had played a big role in shaping you into someone better than who you were then any act in connection reminds you of that person. You look back at the years and your eyes get misty over those wonderful moments in life. And then tears roll down realizing how helpless a situation it is.
All of these memories are etched for eternity and yet we are expected to let go of it all and move on in life :( in the name of being mature. Worse yet, if that person is not gone but just no longer in reach it feels even more terrible :((.
But that is life and I got to live with it.